Feeling lost? An expert explains how longing is a sign of your humanity

Many people associate longing with unresolved trauma, something broken that needs fixing. But longing is not just about pain; it is a deep, natural pull toward connection. Intuitive Somatic guide Mishell Latour explains that longing is intertwined with grief, a way our bodies release stress. That ache in your chest? It is your body completing a stress response, letting go of built-up cortisol through tears. Instead of seeing it as a problem, what if we honored it?

We Heal in Connection

Healing does not happen in isolation. It happens in relationships; romantic, platonic, familial, and communal. The way we connect with friends, and family play a role in our well-being. But here’s the thing: longing does not mean losing yourself.

You can desire a deep connection while still being present in your life. You can want love without feeling like something is missing. That ache for companionship does not mean you are incomplete. It simply means you are human.

Longing for something does not mean you have to sink into it or let it pull you back into unhealthy patterns. Healing does not come from waiting for someone else to fill the void. It comes from recognizing that longing is not something to fix; it is something to feel.

So instead of asking, Why do I still feel this way? Is this just my past trauma resurfacing?

What if you simply allowed yourself to feel it? Because the goal is not to eliminate longing. The goal is to hold it while staying present. To feel both the ache and the beauty of what’s already here. To know that grief and gratitude, longing and joy, can coexist.

Your longing is not a weakness, but a proof that you are alive!