When we meet someone we like, our first instinct is often to keep them in our lives and commit our time, energy, and love to them. In this process, we often forget to ask some key questions or learn important traits of our partner. This often leads to conflict later in the relationship.
On January 10, Kimberly Moffit, Relationship and Psychology Expert (PhD), shared a post on Instagram where she revealed some ‘underrated conversations’ you should be having with your partner before committing to them. “Trust me, you want to have them early,” she wrote in the caption.
8 things to ask before committing
Per Kimberly, these are important questions you should be asking to know the person you like better. In the post, titled ‘8 topics to discuss before committing’, she shared topics ranging from trust, dealbreakers, boredom and more.
Here are the 8 topics she shared:
1. How do you handle boredom?
The first thing you should know about your potential partner is how they deal with boredom. “Do you need constant stimulation, or are you okay with quiet downtime? This reveals how you each manage comfort zones and whether you’re likely to grow bored with each other or crave space,” Kimberly wrote.
2. How does ‘home’ feel like to you?
The relationship expert suggested asking your partner what is ‘home’ for them. Elaborating further, she wrote, “Is home a physical place, a feeling, or a person? Do you crave travel and exploration, or are you a ‘nest at home’ type?” It’ll give you a sense of how you view your living space and whether your ideas align.
3. How do you recharge?
“Some people need a lot of people time to feel energised; others need solitude. Understanding each other’s recharge methods will help ensure you don’t drain each other’s energy or feel neglected,” Kimberly explained.
4. What’s your deal with trust?
The relationship expert suggested asking your partner how they deal with trust, how they build it, and what would break it for them. “Talk about past experiences, but also your approach to vulnerability and reliability in a relationship,” Kimberly explained.
5. How do you feel about failure?
“How do you react when things go wrong – whether in life or relationships? Are you someone who rises quickly or gets stuck?” the expert suggested asking your partner this question. This can tell you a lot about resilience and emotional maturity.
6. How do you deal with the unexpected?
“Do you get anxious, roll with it, or try to control everything? Talk about how you each approach curveballs-like travel mishaps, sudden changes, or unexpected problems,” she wrote.
7. What’s your biggest dealbreaker (Beyond the obvious)?
Per the expert, we all know the big things, like cheating and dishonesty, that are dealbreakers. However, what’s something small that might make you walk away? It could be something like a bad habit, lifestyle choice, or personality trait.
8. How do you feel about routines?
Are you a creature of habit or someone who thrives in chaos? Do you need structure, or do you prefer a more spontaneous approach to life? Understanding this helps with conflict over lifestyle choices and long-term plans.
